It was time I realized that there is someone else observing me too, is all geared up to narrate my story suffused with all the spice available in the world.Everyone who commutes by the local train ends up making a spectacle of himself and I did that too… I reminisce those days, when after a hectic day's work I would go for a drink with my friends .While returning home I would prefer slouching to the support in the doorway and inhale the breeze voraciously, this is perhaps the best antidote to stress I would recommend to everybody. Let the cool air strike your face and you would forget what fatigue means. But today was different, however hard I tried nothing could calm me down, not even the soothing air. Tears trickling down my eyes, I reprimanded myself severely, “Listen girl, one more drop from your eyes and I’ll tag you a weakling”.
Two girls whispering amongst themselves, a 10 year something gaping at me as if he's seen an adult crying for the first time, a woman frowning but nothing could stop me from fighting those volley of tears. The crowd entered and exited, desperately waiting for my station to approach, I was wondering if all that wait is going to make any difference in mollifying me.Finally when I was just about to get off, someone placed a hand on my shoulder. It comforted me instantly. It was a motherly touch and finally my emotions were deterred by the stroke of its fingers.
I turned back, tried to see through my watery vision and what I saw to my horror was inexplicable.I had never seen her comforting anyone, I had never seen that emotional countenance on his face, I had never seen her act so humanly. I had seen him as a mendicant, a thug, a person who seeks sympathy but never had I seen her as a consoler. I’ve been extremely confused with the way I should address this entity but the way it made me feel today and replaced the soothing breeze with her comforting touch, I can only think of addressing her as a ‘she’…
I was always intimidated by people of her ilk, but why didn’t I fear today, what made me look at her eye to eye and convey that expression of gratitude??? I couldn't figure and that became the very sole reason of me getting insomniac that night. The break off with my beau was not hovering in my mind anymore. A clueless state had taken over my emotional side, as if some divine force had interchanged all the things in my mind I usually mull over, with something more profound. As if it was an epiphany moment, wrapped with a message. A message which asks you to stop turning a blind eye to things that surround you 'coz of your own predicaments.
Highly infuriated with the serpentine queue to the ticket counter, I bought coupons to save time. After wresting the crowd and somehow making my way into a cramped ladies compartment, I realized it was all futile. I was already late for work. Highly mortified with even the thought of teaching my kids about punctuality someday, I took an oath at that very moment that come what may, I'll not preach until I learn the ropes of time-management. The crowd lessened and I finally heaved a sigh of relief, but it didn’t take much time for my relief to swap into anxiety. I saw her sitting on her haunches right at the entrance, making a cone out of her betel leaf and stuffing it into her mouth. For a moment I considered talking to her, to be infra dig. After the indefinite hemming and hawing, I asked her, "what's your name" with an undertone of reticence in my voice. She gave me an animated smile and said “take care of yourself and stop traveling late nights” and got off the train. Tying me up in knots,yet again she left me in a state of contemplation.Years of education, experience in organizations now seemed diminutive all of a sudden. Did I ever care about a stranger so selflessly? I guess no…
Sharing pleasantries with her became a part of daily commuting routine. She virtually knew everything about me and vice versa. I’d even chastised her couple of times, asking her to get rid of her malicious habits. And I think I deserve a pat on my back for the successful makeover I'd given her.
Months elapsed, things had changed. I had got back with my 'once-upon-a-time' estranged lover. I was back to being the indifferent me, to the usual life surrounded by material needs and conventional choices, but I am sure she would still be alleviating a lot of my other disheartened cronies with her ‘comforting touch’…
